I’m gonna preach the good word about this Scarlett Belle single.
The last two I can’t really get behind because, despite what you think, I do have standards but ‘Lover Boy’ is all right shades of fluoro summer pop for me.
You can tell King Kyle‘s invested a little more dough on this video and while it’s a simple plot of two broads writhing it up at a stylish pool party, it looks remarkably tasteful and well, Sydney upmarket.
Here are three highlights from the Belles’ pool party:
1) Tamara Jaber’s seductive wonk eye.
This bitch is sneaking her way back into my good books. [Editor's note: Limmy's lying. He's always been a closet Jaber stan.] A part of me still thinks her whole split with Vile Kyle is some sort of twisted publicity stunt because why would the radio Yogi let go of this hot piece? True talk: Tamara‘s never looked better, even when she’s sweating us with that seductive wonk eye of hers.
2) Now I’m listening.
…
3) The Other One.
Not enough love is given to Reigan, really. The one-time Australian Idol contestant’s come a long way from her talent show days – even if it’s conveniently airbrushed from the duo’s bio – and she’s still gotta take crap living in Tamara‘s shadow. Reigan luv, all the way.
Footnote:
‘Lover Boy’ has yet to chart in the ARIA Top 100 despite having acceptable levels of radio support. It’s time somebody slipped a nip.
Bruno Mars‘ scores his second consecutive Aussie #1 single with ‘Grenade’ rocketing to the top spot this week. On the flip side, the esteemed songwriter’s Doo-Wops & Hooligans LP, which peaked at #7 earlier, has come throttling back into the Top 20. My favourite BruMars shout out this week comes courtesy of New York Times writer Jon Caramanica who described the hit maker as, “one of the most versatile and accessible singers in pop… that fit a range of styles, a universal donor.” Get me some of that.
Wynter Gordon - mah gurl – sees her breakthrough single ‘Dirty Talk’ enter the main Aussie charts at #49 this week thanks to the Stereosonic gigs and quick promo stopover. Have you run your eyeballs through our interview chat yet? Single number two has yet to be decided but the long awaited album – With The Music I Die – is set for a March due date.
Sarah McLeod‘s new single ‘Love & Honour’ debuts at #36 on the Aussie club charts this week. I’ve yet to check out the new choon so let me get back to ya’ll on this one. Elsewhere, Daft Punk‘s Tron: Legacy soundtrack debuts at #31 this week. Dance music meisters, is it worth checking out?
Black Eyed Peas need to watch their backs now because this is one weave you shouldn’t have tugged at. The Peas’ heinous new single ‘The Time (Dirty Bit)’ has edged up to #1 on the UK charts this week, criminally denying Willow Smith the honour of being the youngest UK chart topper since Little Jimmy Osmond in 1972. ‘Whip My Hair’ is the highest charting new entry there, debuting at #2. Get ready for da take ova!
Nicole Scherzinger‘s ‘Poison’ has made a worrying slip from its #3 debut to #10 in the UK this week. Elsewhere, the X Factor reign finally lets up with the charity single ‘Heroes’ slipping from #1 to #7 while last year’s alumni, Olly Murs‘ new single ‘Thinking of Me’ dips to #8.
Cher Lloyd‘s warble for survival last week inadvertently boosted sales for Britney‘s ‘Everytime’, bringing the song up to #56. Yet another positive example of how the X Factor continues to breathe life into forgotten classics.
Alexandra Burke‘s continent-shifting ballad ‘The Silence’ copped a sales surge after last week’s X Factor performance, creating a downloads blast off from #126 to #16 in the UK this week. The Overcome Deluxe edition saw the LP throttling from #58 to #22 on the charts. The concept of re-releases bore me now. Gurl, do right by us and give us a new EP or something we can really bump to.
My future boo Joe McElderry [Editor's note: surely the name check is superfluous now? All Feed Limmy readers know who you're talking about.] saw his new single ‘Someone Wake Me Up’ languish at a #68 debut this week, despite all the Narnia-related hype and constant radio promos around the country. Seriously. I’m about to flip the desk on somebody.
Michael Jackson and Akon‘s ‘Hold My Hand’ debuts at #10 in the UK this week. I’ll have you know Feed Limmy is completely anti this blatant exploitation of The King’s legend. These leftover demos and incomplete tracks obviously never earned Michael‘s stamp of approval when he was still moonwalking the earth. Everything about these posthumous releases stink of utter disrespect for his artistry.
Tinie Tempah and Kelly Rowland‘s anthemic ‘Invincible’ debuts at #64 this week. Queens take note of Tinie‘s stylish black sequined jacket in the video. I’mma make some contacts over in Hong Kong and Korea to get a similar one tailored for next year’s Christmas party.
Duffy‘s Endlessly album slips from #9 to #19 in the UK. Well, well, well indeed, bitch. You know somebody’s gonna be upset. Elsewhere, Nelly Furtado‘s Best of compilation slips from #53 to #100 in the UK after just two weeks in. *Tumbleweeds*
Katy Perry scores her third consecutive US #1 single with ‘Firework’ edging to the top spot this week. Kitty is absolutely unstoppable now that Gaga‘s retreated to ready her sophomore album. Just as well because when Mother Monster strikes back, it’s gonna be bigger than the apocalypse. There’s already all this talk of “next level stuff”, especially after label head Ralph Simon revealed that Gaga‘s forthcoming Born This Way album will feature songs recorded in six languages: English, Spanish, Mandarin Chinese, Portugese, Hindi and Russian. Mind blown.
Justin Bieber‘s My Worlds Acoustic albumsits at… I can’t even. I’m sorry. Grab your free LOLZ here.
Mother England has spoken and today she crowns her latest X Factor winner.
Pub gig performer and all round nice bloke Matt Cardle has been the bookies’ favourite to win the series all year. And so it’s come as no surprise that after weeks of tugging at heart strings with his spine-tingling falsettos and acoustic guitar-wielding performances, the painter/decorator shuts down the competition.
Watch Matt‘s crowning moment here:
Damn. There’s breaking down with grace and dignity, and then there’s breaking down like blokes do. You can just hear the collective ‘awww’s emanating from every living room when Matt loses it in the boys’ huddle at the end of his performance.
During the entire ten-week live show battle, the strummy la la singerhas not once been rendered to the bottom two. In fact, according to Digital Spy‘s report on the voting figures, Cardle has topped the polls every week except for week one (which went to Tesco Empress Mary). Runner up Rebecca Ferguson has consistently been the second favourite since week five (except for Beatles week when Katie Waissel outpolled her).
Be upstanding as we applaud the flawless blossom of the competition. Even though I am upset that she didn’t take the crown, I know Rebecca‘s going to make timeless music and grow into that international recording artiste everybody sees in her. No question about it.
The Liverpool soul siren warbled her elected winners’ single – a cover of Duffy‘s ‘Distant Dreamer’ (see above) – and a dignified rendition of Eurythmics‘ ‘Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)’tonight, closing the chapter on what has been a breath-taking and consistent run on the X Factor. A vocalist like Rebecca reallyonly comes around in these competitions once every ten years.
Matt Cardle‘s winner’s single ‘When We Collide’ (originally titled as ‘Many of Horror’ by Biffy Clyro) is up for download in the UK now and physical single should hit stores tomorrow. Could this be a well-recovered X Factor chart topper after the disaster of last year’s sabotage that robbed my innocent future boo Joe McElderry of a #1 single?
Just as every pub in the nation wells up with tears, cheers and beers in honour of our flat cap wearing winner- let’s take a moment to reminisce on the electrifying series that’s been.
There’s definitely been a heavy hand of modification and upsizing in this series: everything from the raised age limits in the solo categories through to the judges forming bands on the show for the first time (One Direction and Belle Amie), then lifting the velvet rope to include 16 acts in the live shows, and finally, the introduction of four individual winners’ singles.
What’s been the greatest hit for me this year is having late brekky every Sunday (we live in the land Down Under, remember?) with the live show performances on YouTube, and just being treated to some of the most unique vocalists and performers I’ve ever heard gathered in one series of a talent competition.
Here’s Feed Limmy‘s pick of pack – the unforgettable performances and our favourite bitch please moments in season seven of UK X Factor.
X Factor UK 2010 – unforgettable performances:
Cher Lloyd – Stay
An iconic moment in the competition when the young femmecee dimmed her swag and unveiled a vulnerable side for the first time in this tear-jerking vocal performance.
Rebecca Ferguson – Why Don’t You Do Right?
It’s that Jessica Rabbit va-va voom: sassy, soulful and too fucking cool to touch.
Mary Byrne – This Is A Man’s World
The Tesco Empress‘s crowning moment: booming confidence, captivating stage presence and roof-raising vocals.
Aiden Grimshaw – Mad World
A haunting and utterly spellbinding performance.
Rebecca Ferguson – Show Me Love
Our soul siren effortlessly slips into dance diva mode. We are still in shock.
Cher Lloyd – Just Be Good To Me
How did she manage to make a retro record sound so tailored to her? Instant smash. Bitch completely shat all over them teen stars that be rocking the Nickolodeon Awards.
X Factor Final 14 – Telephone
Guilty pleasure fun that turned out surprisingly ace in most parts despite the gawd awful miming.
One Direction – The Way You Look Tonight
The moment I realised these lads meant business and saw the promise of a long pop career ahead.
Paije Richardson – Let It Be
A thunderous performance unlike any rendition I’ve ever heard of this song. Poor Paije. I think out of all of Dannii’s boys, he was the one that needed the most guidance and time to develop his sonic stamp.
Matt Cardle – The First Time (Ever I Saw Your Face)
The torch ballad that had us gasping for air in the delicate falsetto sections. All of Matt‘sperformances seem to blur into one strummy la la haze in my head but this one remains the centre piece of it all.
Nicole Scherzinger – Poison
The guest judge who came back and detonated the fucking stage with the most exhilarating artist performance of the year.
Unforgettable bitch please moments:
“I don’t usually have anything constructive to say to you, Wagner. But I believe you’ve made some comments this week about me being from a council estate and I’m just a very lucky girl. Well, you’re absolutely right. I’m very proud of my roots and I’m very lucky. If I were to give you any constructive advice, it’d be: don’t focus on anyone else or how lucky I am. But how lucky you are to be on that stage.” Damn, old man. Here’s a pen and I’mma need you to sign this ’cause you just got served.
“Only you – after the week that you’ve had – could come out and sing ‘your sex is on fire’…” – Simon, this is no laughing matter. Katie Waissel‘s grand ma might have just discovered a new song to trick to.
Harry from One Direction, please put some clothes on. We don’t want to excite the kiddie fiddlers now, do we? [Editor's note: you won't believe how many Google searches for "Harry One Direction topless" we get directed here.]
Remember when Cheryl went through that cheap red hair phase and passed the bottle around to all her girls?
Treyc Cohen, this scene is something out of Real Housewives of Atlanta. The cheap expensive furniture, the curves-embracing red dress and BET-ready wig –damn, did someone jack Nene‘s boudoir? So we found the Halloween connection after all.
“Hopefully with a bit of steam it would clear out the skin as well and you’ll start to look a bit fresher?” – Oh, Diva Fever. How did we ever get through this series without you queens?
That wig.
Final word:
What on earth am I gonna do with myself now? Should you find me contemplating new years resolutions and what to do with my life, it’s all because I’m struggling to fill the void of a weekly X Factor feed.
I hope you’ve enjoyed the recaps, our bitch please moments and commentary this year. It’s been fantastic hearing the response from readers, fellow fans and friends, and I hope to get right back into it with next year’s series [Editor's note: hands will be tied between the US, UK and Aussie runs, if all three go ahead in 2011].
