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A high brow look at pop music foolery.

Tag: Music Video

Cheryl Cole ‘Call My Name’ Music Video

Forget how Cheryl Cole feels when we call her name – isn’t it time somebody assigned a name to that wandering mole we last saw touring all over Kelly Rowland’s face? That shit is now getting viewed more times than Nadine Coyle because it just found itself a sweet spot on our Geordie Goddess’ right cheek.

Seriously, though. If the cosmetically-bestowed mole was the only subject of your fixation throughout this 4:29 production then I suggest you reassess your life choices.

Cheryl Cole serves an endless reel of fashion editorial realness in her brand new video ‘Call My Name’ that really could have doubled as a commercial for a number of top-end designer labels. What’s up, D&G?

Lady of the concrete jungle.

Director Anthony Mandler, who has hemmed quality videos for Rihanna and Jennifer Hudson, made such a sensible juxtaposition of Cheryl‘s alluring feminine movements with these cold, urban and structured streetscapes.

I really enjoyed Cheryl‘s visual presentation here – the full voluminous hair giving us movement in the wind, those stunning display of legs and womanly silhouette? Excuse her beauty but it truly was the main attraction of every scene in this video.

Hard and soft.

The well-groomed contrast I mentioned didn’t just start and end with the visual make-up of the outdoor shots, but also extends to the kind of energies mixed throughout the whole ‘Call My Name’ video.

You see some seriously on-point choreography delivered with slick precision mixed in with these really glamorous and almost ethereal movements in the mirror scenes, where it’s just Cheryl giving face to the camera.

It’s just the kind of pace this video needs to reflect – especially for a song like ‘Call My Name’, where there are massive fairground synths pounding the chorus, offset by a pair of very sensual, alluring verses.

You almost can’t go too hard by heavily featuring dance moves in every single shot for the entire video.

“You got me confused by the way I changed…”

‘Call My Name’ – concocted by pop’s it producer of the moment Calvin Harris – isn’t a defining smash by any stretch of the imagination. But just like a lot of the music Cheryl has handed me before, however heavily soaked in mediocrity, I’m gonna eat this shit up like it’s the last goddamn box of KFC Wicked Wings on earth. I am full-blown obsessed and am in dire need of help when it comes to weaning myself off this basic pop event.

Watch Cheryl‘s ‘Call My Name’ video:



Footnotes:

Cheryl Cole will release ‘Call My Name’ on 11 June in the UK. Her third solo album A Million Lights hits shelves the following week.

Alexandra Burke ‘Let It Go’ Music Video

A+ for effort, Miss Burke. Look at the bitch go, giving us more “street smart popstar” realness in a video that successfully transports some very important emancipatory themes with a world class-standard dance breakdown.

I’m making a conscious effort to be “more involved” with this new Alexandra Burke single after leaving ‘Elephant’ waiting by the post. For one, I immediately enjoyed ‘Let It Go’ from the moment I heard it so there was no awkward waiting period where I decide to whether ignore it and head to the bar, or politely nod along until Cheryl Cole comes on.

‘Let It Go’ is produced by Cutfather (who has carved workable singles like Kylie‘s ‘Get Outta My Way’ and Eric Saade‘s ‘Backseat’) so really – as far as the children are concerned – this is probably as close as Alexandra can get to “sounding relevant” in the dance/pop circuit without the aid of current MVPs like Calvin Harris and David Guetta.

But you know what? Fuck that shit. For me, the track’s real selling point is the emancipatory hook and that 90s house/pop kinda mentality where the melody and diva vocals take the lead, as opposed to the beat – which is very much the driving force behind a lot of hits on the radio these days.

‘Let It Go’ is enjoyable in a way that uplifting dance pop should be. It taps into that natural, intrinsic good feeling you get when you hear proper melodies taken to a new level by a right combination of supportive beats and the right vocal delivery. It is a song-driven single not a producer-driven single, if you catch my drift.

This is an express service, running directly to Hitsville.

The video for ‘Let It Go’ picks up where the ‘Elephant’ video left us, with this nocturnal, urban city chic theme. However, just like it was with the song – I’m pleased to find that ‘Let It Go’ (the video) is a clearer hit to the system than Alex‘s last effort.

It’s such a straight-forward, no-brainer of a concept, y’all. Alexandra gets dropped off at the station looking all pensive and shit, then she gets on the train and comes alive as she is transported to another destination, leaving behind the burden of her past as she strips off her jacket and dances wildly in her gold bra.

The liberating energy she carries with her as she purposefully catwalks through the carriage obviously inspires commuters to “let it go” and dance along with her. Conclusion: they all leave together, rising from the Underground to take up proper dancing under the bridge somewhere after.

I could dance all nite.

While Alexandra now joins the ranks of the fiercest to have served head-turning performances on a train, including Pussycat Dolls circa ‘Wait A Minute’ and Lady Gaga in ‘LoveGame’, I think the real popstarly excellence in ‘Let It Go’ was in the way she worked the dance breakdown.

This is definitely my kind of pop music video. We’re talking proper scene stealers where all the energy and spark peaks at the dance breakdown, showing the artist in complete control of the shot while she masters choreography like a boss with her pack of dancers. Lord knows this is something Alexandra has committed to ever since she broke out with ‘Bad Boys’, so y’all need to give props where props are due.

Watch the music video for Alexandra Burke‘s ‘Let It Go’:



Footnotes:

Alexandra Burke‘s ‘Let It Go’ comes out on 27 May in the UK with her eagerly anticipated second album Heartbreak on Hold following it on 4 June. Hopefully I’ll be able to catch the girl at a gig somewhere in LDN when I’m there during the month.

The Wanted ‘Chasing The Sun’ Music Video

These lads would’ve sent their careers to death row if they foisted one of their lesser past singles in America. After the skyscraping success of ‘Glad You Came’ – let’s be real about it – you know there was nothing of equal or greater value worth following on that Battleground album.

‘Chasing The Sun’ is a brand new recording pulled out of the hat to sensibly sustain the TGIF-party energy these boys are starting to be known for around the world.

The song is co-written by British rapper Example and producer Alex Smith, who hemmed Olly Murs‘ UK #1 hit ‘Heart Skips A Beat’.

Sun smart.

The music video for ‘Chasing The Sun’ sees The Wanted resume work with Director X, who was responsible for their ‘Glad You Came’ and ‘Warzone’ clips. Conceptually, it has thankfully got more going for it than just endless reels of the lads schmoozing females at a bar.

The whole “contagious transference of that sun tattoo” could’ve been snatched and re-tooled from a safe sex ad campaign? I don’t know. You tell me. I thought it was a good, working concept to execute visually and it fit very well with the theme.

Wanted: new stylist.

There is still something plain uninspiring about the way these fellas are portrayed on film. It’s them same tired ass, Roger David casual wear we’ve clocked before – leather jacket, tee and jeans.

There’s a fine line with dressing popstars that attract the young females’ gaze. Pop music videos are always built on the premise of fantasy – it’s about wishing you looked that good, wishing you could sexually assault one of the band members in a nightclub toilet cubicle, and wishing you could take their nice clothes after you’re done.

Sure, ladies want The Wanted to look relatable – like they’re regular guys you’d date or flirt with at a bar. Teenage boys wanting to impress their girlfriends want to be able to copy these looks within their means (whatever is available at their local mall/affordable on a fast food wage allowance).

That would’ve been fine for The Wanted to cater to in their first two or three music videos, perhaps. But these guys really need to raise the bar and challenge this pedestrian look they’ve rocked for far too long. Start playing with new colours, new textures, new hair styles. There is such a scope to play with in men’s fashion these days without feeling like they need to stay on one editorial page to avoid clashing with One Direction.

I mean, fuck, bitch. I feel like I’m Gok Wan running some sort of emergency tutorial right here – so help me.

Watch The Wanted go ‘Chasing The Sun’:



Footnotes:

The Wanted‘s ‘Chasing The Sun’ is out now but will impact US mainstream radios on 15 May. It’s just one of two new recordings to surface on their seven-track North American EP, The Wanted, which features five past singles.

Lana Del Rey ‘Carmen’ Music Video

Ms LDR has sent in ‘Carmen’ to pick up where ‘Video Games’ left off with its riveting juxtaposition of old film clippings and present day shots.

This is a sensible follow up to the music video that had us all enchanted with Lana Del Rey in the first place. I mean, from what I gather, it seems like Team Del Rey is slowly realising that the incidental magic that occurred when ‘Video Games’ went viral really was worth harnessing.

We’ve seen her label dip the Coney Island Queen in some serious money when they shot her ‘Born To Die’ video, then scale back to something more arthouse for ‘Blue Jeans’ and now with the revelation of ‘Carmen’ – she has rightfully come full circle.

Apart from the obvious mash up fashion, there’s actually a lot of similarities between ‘Video Games’ and ‘Carmen’. There are recurring clips rehashed in the montage like that one of the “Del Rey” sign, time-lapse footage of a red rose blooming, some of the same cartoon animations, and that one with 1940s red carpet photographers flashing their cameras.

There are also familiar shots of a woman riding at the back of a motorcycle without a helmet, except this time it’s Lana Del Rey and she’s sensibly not shown actually riding off without wearing appropriate protection.

‘Carmen’ reprises the same tragic, wasted young vixen tune sung before in so many show stoppers included in the Born To Die album. The depiction on film is therefore an appropriate reflection of that.

However, unlike ‘Video Games’ where there’s really just one female protagonist featured alongside clips of Lana singing, in ‘Carmen’ we get a mix of women and girls from all ages.

It all kind of comes together when you see these moving images soundtracked by such lyrics:

“Darlin’, darlin’. Doesn’t have a problem lying to herself ’cause her liquor’s top shelf. It’s alarming, honestly, how charming she can be fooling everyone, telling them she’s having fun.”

For a song that has long been a critics fave for its stark commentary on “party girl psychosis”, you really wish they went over the top and tempted lawsuits with actual paparazzi footage of Lindsay and Paris doing what they do to make them infamous headlines.

Watch the video for Lana Del Rey‘s ‘Carmen’:



Footnotes:

‘Carmen’ has not been officially touted as the fourth single from Born To Die but from what I understand, the video’s meant to be the final of LDR‘s trilogy – which is a crying shame given that we could do with at least two more videos in this style, perhaps for ‘This Is What Makes Us Girls’ or ‘National Anthem’.

Toni Braxton ‘I Heart You’ Music Video

Toni Braxton‘s first real attempt at making dance music shouldn’t sound as flawless as this.

‘I Heart You’ is such a classy and  elegant anti-thesis to all the aggressive synth and dubstep infused beats infiltrating the charts right now. It’s precisely the kind of innocuous dance production you want to hear complement – and not compete with – a singer as sultry as Ms Toni. However, the daggy and painfully budget video is another case altogether.

I feel like mama should’ve consulted with her sassy younger sister Tamar or asked Kelly Rowland for her director’s number with this one, because I’m sure that with the right styling and direction, ‘I Heart You’ could’ve come for J.Lo ass.

Toni‘s long-time director Bille Woodruff – who was behind numbers like ‘Unbreak My Heart’ and ‘He Wasn’t Man Enough’ – really should’ve brought something fresh to the table to put his girl at her fighting best.

I think since the 44-year old diva’s already channeling some Crystal Waters realness with this track, they should’ve gone all 90s and really recaptured the kind of effects used in 90s dance music videos. Y’know, with a bit more research and effort, this could’ve been a proper statement for Ms Toni.

Not the look.

In ‘I Heart You’ we see glimpses of Toni, the flawless siren, but somehow with the wrong wig and dress for most parts – memaw ends up looking like some law secretary hitting town for the first time since her son graduated from college. It’s not screaming 2012 or next-level TB. In fact, what is this video trying to portray? We’re not getting a sense for a particular style here. Are we meant to be reading WE Network Toni or should it be modern dance diva Toni?

The visual presentation doesn’t suggest anything at all. One minute she’s in a flirty, short pink dress and hooped earrings, next she’s looking like Aunty Toni in a leather jacket chaperoning her niece to the senior prom, and then she’s rocking some ornate drag queen’s headgear.

She needs to send a very clear message about who Toni Braxton‘s meant to be in this new era with these bold new dance beats so fans and viewers alike can grasp onto something. Otherwise, I’m afraid to say, Toni risks fading further into irrelevance.

We need to take this more seriously.

And another thing. Listen, ma. I’ve spent a lot of time strutting stone-faced around the city to ‘I Heart You’, so trust me when I say this is an emotive dance ballad that’s best served with a certain level of sultry elegance. None of this step-clap-whip-your-hair-and-grin bullshit. This is not a flash mob. You’re singing about falling desperately in love with a man who’s in love with another woman.

Watch Toni Braxton‘s ‘I Heart You’ video:



Footnotes:

Toni Braxton’s ‘I Heart You’ is now out in the States. It’s the lead single from her forthcoming eighth studio album interestingly titled Heartstrings & Synagogue Vibes, which is set to arrive in May.

You better hang onto your wigs because this is the grandest concept album of the year. Ms Toni is apparently threatening a double-disc extravaganza that marries dance/R&B with Jewish and Arabic-inspired productions.

Jennifer Lopez ‘Dance Again’ (featuring Pitbull) Music Video

J.Lo is one of very few women I’d let fuck me over with her music video extravagance. Even though the song is as fresh as donkeys’ balls, I’d let her take me there and blow my mind like a virgin’s first time in the back seat.

Having already expressed deep sighs of dissatisfaction with ‘Dance Again’, I now find myself at an interesting turning point where I’m actually inclined to give the song a chance. The woman knows her business and she knows how to add value to her products. Jennifer Lopez gets that she’s a multi-dimensional and thoroughly visual kinda brand, and without the presence of a music video, her songs could not stand a chance of driving home a hit.

Scissor Sisters once said, “you can’t see tits on the radio” – well, bitch, see this why she up on YouTube. And I’m sure if Mami Lopez had a sale for every view this clip gets on YouTube, she would be rightfully snatching Katy Perry and Rihanna‘s wigs.

Here are some important features of Slaylo‘s ‘Dance Again’ video – carefully considered with absolutely no mention of Pitbull whatsoever:

It’s taking me higher. Higher.

A-grade director Paul Hunter, who did Jennifer‘s last blockbuster smash ‘Papi’, is back on board to pimp the fuck out of the diva’s newest music video-slash-fragrance commercial.

I am so delighted with the “floating to the top” concept in the first half. I mean, it’s a visually exciting way to depict the idea of “getting high” on the music, the sponsored booze, and apparently J.Lo‘s newest fragrance Glowing (which is her 18th muhfuggin‘ women’s fragrance).

Let’s not forget to clock the sea of bodies she’s writhing with there that’s so evocative of Queen Bey‘s ‘Baby Boy’ and Kylie‘s ‘All The Lovers’. Bey‘s choreographer Frank Gatson Jr. has certainly brought a few stunning tricks to the table that complement the video’s anti-gravity themes.

Platinum Lopez

Are you living for the subtle nod to her Brave visuals here? I know most J.Lo apologisers would rather forget about that album because, fuck, this ho put us through hell trying to justify that mess to our family and friends. But the silver, the sparkles, and flashes of hot pink in a dark background really pops on screen – especially in the dance breakdown when you see it juxtaposed with shots of her dancing in the well-lit foyer.

Watch Jennifer Lopez turn the party with ‘Dance Again’:



Footnotes:

‘Dance Again’ debuted at #34 on the US Billboard Pop Songs chart. It’ll be interesting to see if this song scorches up airwaves and the charts like her last heat stroke ‘On The Floor’.

The Saturdays ’30 Days’ Music Video

Despite ’30 Days’ being some kind of emotional ode to long distance love aches, you won’t catch The Saturdays sporting windswept tears or looking all sombre by the pool side in this video.

Instead, here comes the next sensible option: speed dating in an American diner with loads of cute boys who look like they could all either be on the Glee extras list or the next Gym Class Heroes video.

The name of the game is simple. It’s written on the damn board above the counter, “Speed dating – find your soulmate in 30 dates or less”.

But rather than cleverly playing up the inherently cheesy story line like Sophie Ellis-Bextor did in ‘I Won’t Change You’, these girls frustratingly dawdle about looking pedestrian, dashing from one corner of the diner to the next – all the while barely managing to convey any sense of commitment to the production.

The Saturdays haven’t always bothered with eye-popping choreography or fashion forward visual presentations but I feel like with this video, they really were resting their heels on my last nerve.

Perhaps it was the stagnant, predominantly close ups to mid-shots that frustrated me. I think they were trying to make it look like it wasn’t just Una who was exempt from a full body shot. Every single one of them had to be framed in a similar way for consistency.

On top of that, they set 90% of the shots in this cramped diner, giving the viewers a dull aching sense of claustrophobia. Fuck, I sound like Mama Lim at a house inspection. Something about the feng shui up in here just ain’t right.

Mollie King, shanté you stay.

The rest of you basic bitches can sashay away. Especially Rochelle and that unflattering new hair colour that makes her look like a haggard old piece from Basketball Wives. Gurl, that is not the look.

I am particularly pleased with the multiple angles of elegant face Ms Mollie is serving in ’30 Days’. I feel like she was the only one here who looked like she knew exactly how and when to tilt it for the camera.

Una’s bumpgate.

I mean, what a load of rubbish about editing out her baby bump. They had you gagging at the 45 second mark when all five girls were shown running to the counter with Una strategically hidden at the back – making it look like it took four grown ass women to cover her belly.

‘What a farce’, you thought.

Then fast forward to a later part of the clip, we see her caressing her belly from behind the table. You can’t say none of this was planned on – Una talking about editing out her baby bump from the video to the way the shots were sequenced?

If this was fuckery foisted by a more well-known diva, I’m sure there’d be more people caring and clutching their pearls in disgust.

Watch The Saturdays‘ ’30 Days’ music video:



Footnotes:

The Saturdays will release ’30 Days’ on 13 May in the UK. By then most astute pop music listeners would’ve moved on to bigger and better things like new releases by Marina & The Diamonds, Sam Sparro and Scissor Sisters. Good luck, gurls.

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